Hello everyone.
So today I was supposed to give a talk on the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, with a focus on the Book of Mormon and missionary work. But I really want to share with you why I want to serve a mission and share two personal experiences I’ve had within the last month or so.
The Why:
My whole life I always wondered if I would go on a mission. I would think of my dad who did go on a mission, but then I looked at my mom who didn’t go on a mission and thought that “well if she turned out so great, then I really don’t need to go on a mission either!” and that was always my decision, to not go on a mission. Everything changed during my senior year of high school in Sister T’s seminary class. She was such a good teacher and I’m not sure what specific thing she said or day I decided to pray more intently about serving a mission but I did. And when I prayed about it I decided to not ask if it was ok if I didn’t go, like I had done before, this time I tried making the decision to serve a mission and to see how that felt. I got such strong feelings that I did need to go and that going on a mission was the right decision for me. At the time I was still unsure why I wanted to go on a mission, I mean I was excited to talk about the church all day long with strangers but it wasn’t until my last semester at BYU that I really figured it out.
I am going to read from my journal entry after I had my first interview with my Bishop about going on a mission. “The very first question he asked me was ‘why do you want to serve a mission?’ It kind of startled me at first, but I thought about what I had just told my mom about my mission prep class... earlier that day in mission prep everyone was standing up and sharing where they had been called to serve, getting all excited about where people were going. The phrase that kept coming back to me was ‘the people you will serve’ and I was overwhelmed with the spirit and love for people I haven’t even met yet! I got super emotional anytime I thought about those people and spreading the gospel of joy to them...so that’s what I told Bishop Morris. I am so excited to meet the people who are already preparing to meet me and just going out to dedicate 18 months to serving God and His children. I JUST CAN’T WAIT TO BE A MISSIONARY!” That still holds true today, my heart is full of love for the people I will serve and I truly cannot wait to be a missionary.
My Joseph Smith moment:
The first experience I want to talk about happened around the first week of February. To give some background, when you are turning in all your papers to become a missionary, you also have to go through an interview process with some church leaders, like your Bishop and with your Stake president. During my final interviews with them they both talked to me about how starting this amazing process of becoming a missionary and doing the Lord’s work will mean that Satan will do everything in his power to stop me from serving my mission. I had also heard
this from some of my friends who are currently out on their missions. I don’t really know why but I didn’t think much of it, thinking “that probably won’t happen to me.” Boy was I wrong.
So my first experience I want to talk about is the first time I really felt opposition about serving a mission. I was at home sitting on the couch that night and my mom had just come downstairs to sit and talk with me. I was sitting and thinking about all of the things I needed to get done including preparing for my mission, which is a lot harder than I thought, finishing my online calc class, working, feeling like I had to finish reading the entire book of mormon as soon as possible AND on top of that I had to go to my first time serving at the temple early the next morning. I had a doctor’s appointment for my mission that I also had that morning, so I would have to leave early from the temple, which only added to all my stress. I began feeling like everything would be better if I just didn’t go to the temple the next day and just went the following week. I was just getting very overwhelmed with everything and burst into tears. I was feeling horrible, sobbing so much I could barely breathe, you know one of those ugly crying moments. My mom came over to me to figure out what was wrong but I couldn’t hear anything she was saying, consumed by my own thoughts. A million things popped into my mind like “I can’t be worthy to enter the temple tomorrow, I should just skip it” and “I am not ready to go on a mission, maybe I shouldn’t go”. I began doubting myself, all of my actions and everything I had done to prepare to serve a mission for the past two years. I felt like Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove when he said “my mind was filled with all manner of doubts” Then all of a sudden these words formed in my head that were so clear saying “YOU CAN DO THIS” followed by feelings of love and warmth. I felt flooded by the spirit and all of my doubts were pushed away. I looked up at my mom and finally started to listen to what she was telling me when she said “you can do this”, the exact same words I had thought of only moments before. Like Joseph Smith said “I knew there was no denying it”, the message was clear, I knew that that phrase came from God and that I could do it. All of those other terrible thoughts came from Satan who was trying to attack me, make me not go to the temple the next day and feel inadequate about serving a mission. My mom helped me get out my Book of Mormon and journal to write down my thoughts. As I read I felt more at peace with everything and confident about going to the temple the next day. I went to the temple in the morning and felt comfort and peace about my worthiness and my decision to serve a mission. This helped me realize that God has a plan for me, that it is crucial to turn to the Book of Mormon daily and that I can utilize resources like the scriptures and the temple for guidance and direction at all times in my life. All of the amazing resources that we have in the Church are because of the restored gospel that Joseph Smith brought forth.
Coronavirus (COVID-19):
My second experience happened earlier this week involving everything going on with the coronavirus. On Wednesday the Church sent out an email about some changes taking place due to the COVID-19 outbreak, including changes to missionary training. In my mission call, I report to the Mexico Missionary Training Center on March 31. For the past several weeks I have been trying to get my Argentina Visa, now if I can’t get my visa before I was supposed to report to Mexico, I would instead go to the Provo Missionary Training Center. On Thursday, Argentina placed new travel restrictions, for an unspecified amount of time, on issuing visas for countries seriously affected by the coronavirus outbreak, including the US. This means that I cannot currently obtain my visa, so I would be going to the Provo Missionary Training Center, however, in Wednesday’s email from the church, the Provo MTC will stop receiving new missionaries on Monday and will be doing all training remotely by video conference. For me this means that for my 6 week training period I will be at home, with online teaching, a remote companion to study with, and additional evening activities to help me prepare. I will still be set apart as a missionary on March 30th the night before my start date and follow all of the missionary standards.
While this is something new and exciting for missionaries all around the world to be doing training online, I was confused and actually really sad. I was so excited to be going to the Mexico MTC and had heard so many wonderful things about it. I was even more thrilled to be going to Argentina, so close to where my dad served his mission in Chile. Now I am unsure if I’ll still be able to go to Argentina with their new travel restrictions and I won’t be leaving on the 31st to Mexico, I’ll still be at home. My first thoughts were “Why me?” I had waited so long just to get my call; I mean I had started all of my papers in September and had them submitted by the end of the month, waiting for final interviews among other things to finally turn everything in at the beginning of November and got my call 2 weeks later. Then I was desperately hoping that I would be called within the next 2 months so that I could return and do fall semester 2021 at BYU. But I was to leave four and a half months after I got my call, meaning I wouldn’t get back in time to go to school that semester with all of my friends that return home from their missions that summer. Already I began questioning the timing of my mission. Now I was questioning it even more, wondering “what if I had been called to leave in January or February, then by now I would already have my visa, already be in the Mexico MTC or could already be in Argentina?” I struggled with these new changes a lot that Thursday night everything seemed to be falling apart. I cried a lot and talked with my family a lot.
I am still struggling with everything that has happened, but the next morning I picked myself up and went to serve in the temple, like I’ve every Friday morning since the beginning of February. As soon as I walked in the temple all of my problems seemed to melt away, I felt peace and comfort as I walked up the stairs looking at the painting of Christ with His arms open and a smile on His face. It made me think of the bible scripture in Philipians 4:13 that says “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”, to me that means if I am a willing servant, He will guide me and direct me, never leaving me alone to face the challenges that He knows will become my strengths in time, this gave me the confidence I needed to serve in the temple that day and having an amazing time. When I left the temple and got back in the car all of my worries, doubts and fears seemed to come back and I just felt horrible again, I started sobbing and decided to turn on some disney music on my way back home to try and cheer me up. The
first song that came on was “I’m Still Standing” from the movie Sing. This made me cry even harder because that was exactly what I needed to hear. I realized that I am still standing, I am still here and I can still be a missionary, yes, my training will be a little different than I expected and I might not be going to exactly where I thought I’d be going but I’m still standing and I will still be a missionary. Now the next song that came on was “Poor Unfortunate Souls’ from The Little Mermaid so I don’t know to what extent the Lord speaks to me through disney music but I’ll take it.
Since then I’ve been thinking a lot about my circumstances. I think the apostle Elder Bednar explains it best in his April 2017 talk from general conference when he said, “As missionaries strive to be ever more worthy and capable instruments in His hands and do their best to fulfill faithfully their duties, then with His help they ‘cannot go amiss -- wherever they serve’”. By trusting in God and in His plan for me, I know that everything will work out according to His will, the will of a loving Heavenly Father who loves me. He knows me, just like He knows all of you. I have faith that my fears and doubts will leave me because God has a work for me to do, His work, “a marvelous work and a wonder”. I know that I have a responsibility as a missionary to ‘proclaim the gospel’ and that is exactly what I am going to do, no matter where I am. I do not yet have an eternal perspective like Heavenly Father does so I will trust in Him and I know that everything will work out in the end.
Testimony:
I have a testimony of Joseph Smith, who restored the gospel on the Earth today. I have a testimony of the importance of the Book of Mormon and temples in our lives. I know that our beloved prophet, President Russell M. Nelson is ordained by God and receives revelation from God for the whole church. I know that Jesus Christ lives and He loves us. I know that our loving Heavenly Father has a plan for me, I don’t know what that plan is yet but I have faith and trust in God’s timing and am so excited to be set apart as a missionary and do the Lord’s work because with Christ carrying me, I can do this. And I just can’t wait to be a missionary.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.